Thank You for another day! Thank You for all that You have done. Thank You for not giving up on me, when I would like to give up on myself. Lord, I need help forgiving those who continue to hurt me. How long do I forgive? With one, I have easily forgiven 70 X 7, as it says in Your Word. How much longer, Lord? I will continue to, until You deliver me. I can do nothing else. Lord, sometimes memories are like small shards of glass. You brush them off of your skin and move on, but some go into your skin and become painful – because you can’t see them, they are difficult to remove. You have a reason for everything. You have promised to deliver me to a safe place. You have promised to deliver me soon. I am wearing down, Lord. I need help! Help me, Lord! You are mighty to save!
“Erin – Come Up!”
Immediately, I was in a city I didn’t recognize. This was not Heavenly. There were abandoned brick buildings everywhere. I saw some script on one of the buildings – it looked Russian or something like this. The sky was dark, very gloomy. There had been rain. The streets were brick in some areas, under a coating of asphalt. Many, many of the buildings had been blown to bits. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was like a tactical sniper outfit. I was me, but completely in character for the landscape. I was like a soldier. I couldn’t tell what was happening. When I saw what I was wearing, I realized I was going to be in the middle of a battle.
Me: “Lord, what are You doing with me – what is this about? I don’t want to be here!”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, I brought you here for an assignment. Do not be afraid. Allow Me to guide you. You will not be hurt. I will deliver you from this. This is important!”
Me: Okay, Lord. I am willing … hopefully, I am able.”
I looked at what I was wearing to see if I had everything I would need to go into battle. Hopefully this didn’t involve killing – I wasn’t certain I could do this. Well, to save children from bad guys – yes, I could do this. I had clothing like armor. I had gloves on, and extra ammunition strapped like a beauty-pageant ribbon across my chest. I had another strap also. I reached behind my back and realized I had a very high-tech sniper rifle – or what I thought was high-tech. I saw a type of scope that had what looked like a digital display. “Okay, if the Lord has me here, there must be some extreme evil. I had better go up higher so I can see what I’m up against and what army I am fighting.”
I ducked into one building with a steel door. It was pitch black. I felt my way up the stairs and began to see light the higher I climbed. As I approached a window, I instinctively came up to the side to peek out, so I wouldn’t be seen. Eventually, I made it another several flights to the roof. Before I exited this door, I got down on my belly and slowly opened the door from a low position, in case there were others out there on the roof. I came to my feet and bent over behind two very large air ducts. I listened for any sounds. In the distance I saw a war zone. There were smoldering buildings. I still could not see signs of life anywhere. I looked out the other direction and I saw a sniper station on the roof. I couldn’t tell where the sniper was, as I could only see equipment.
As I approached, I saw a trail of blood leading to another utility area of the building. I followed the trail carefully. I saw a body stretched out. I saw a young boy – maybe seventeen years old – who appeared to be praying. At first I didn’t understand the language. Then the Lord granted me the ability to know what he was saying. He was praying to Mary. He kept saying something like “mother of God.” He was dying. I ran over to him. He quickly tried to get away from me. I gathered that I was wearing the clothing of the opposing side. It was cold here, about 40 degrees. I was wearing a stocking cap with some sort of barrier on it, like a shield. It was odd, because I literally know nothing about military combat, other than that I never wanted to be in a situation like this.
The man looked so frightened by me. I put my hands up and I said something in his language. I didn’t understand the language I was speaking, but the Lord granted me supernatural knowledge, so I knew what was being said and how to say it.
Me (in another tongue): “I have been sent by Jesus – not His mother – by God Himself to give you comfort.” He was shaking and scared – so scared.
Man: “Who are you? Don’t kill me! Please!”
Me: “I am not here to kill you. I was sent by God to show you He loves you.”
Man: “God wouldn’t send a sniper to lead a sniper home. This is a trick.”
Me: “No, it is not a trick. I am here to help you. What is your name?”
Man: “Kelzi Immanuil.” – Snipers don’t give out last names.
Me: “Oh, you are David Emanuel. Who gave you that name?”
Man : “My grandmother who raised me.”
Me: “You are dying. Do you know Jesus, the one who sent me? Do you know Him who loves you?”
Man: “He cannot love me. I am a killer. I have killed innocent people. I am nothing, but forgotten. I cannot be forgiven. I kill children.”
Me: “God has sent me just to show you home. Would you like to go to Heaven? It is Paradise. The angels will take you there.”
Man: “This is a trick. I cannot be forgiven.”
Me: “Are you willing to accept that Jesus is here with me?” Just then, he began to have shortness of breath and severe pains.
Man: “First, you must know that there are others in the buildings. Crazy woman of God, you will need to see them, too. I have killed many. Those who were praying in the other building will need you. I am the killer.”
Me: “God knows this, Kelzi. He sent me to you. He told me your grandmother wants you home with her. Are you ready?”
Man: “Yes, yes, hurry, hurry. I am being hunted like a dog right now – quietly hurry.”
Just then there were old helicopters coming at us. There were bombs dropping about a mile away. I heard gunfire in the distance. I still didn’t know where I was. Kelzi reached out for my hand. This young boy was scared.
Man: “Please don’t leave me. Please.”
Me: “It’s okay. Jesus loves you. The angels are ready to take you home.” I looked, and his eyes were focusing on something which I didn’t see. I saw his face black with sniper paint. I saw his eyes bluer than blue … the whites of his eyes. He was focused on what I couldn’t see. I began to cry, as he had a smile on his face.
Man: “Jesus, I see You. I see You! I am sorry. Please forgive me!” I then heard “Thank You” – so I knew the Lord was speaking to him and showing him the way home. It was beautiful. His eyes fixed and his hand went limp in mine. I reached over and closed his eyelids and thanked God.
Me: “Okay, Lord, You can beam me up to the ship now! Lord, the bombs are drawing closer … time to remove me.”
Holy Spirit: “No, Erin – you have the equipment. The enemy is approaching. There is more to do before you are removed. Don’t think. Allow Me to work here.”
Me: “Lord, wouldn’t it have been more convincing to send someone who actually has been in a war zone, or with tactical experience? I am a bit out of my element here. A fashion show in New York City might be closer to my level of experience.”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, I can send someone else if you are not capable.”
Me: “No, Lord, You have Your reasons. I am willing – just please empty me completely of myself, and grant me supernatural knowledge about this culture or even war.”
Holy Spirit: “Granted. Now, go to Kelzi’s sniper station and look through the scope. – First, take his iPad.”
I got up, grabbed Kelzi’s iPad – it had a bunch of coordinates. Next to these, it had a word which meant kills.At each coordinate he had tracked his kills.
Me: “Oh, Lord, this kid was a master sniper – how did he even make it to prayers and salvation? Wow!”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, lucky for everyone here your assignment is not judge and jury. Please stick to My Plan and do not judge!”
Me: “Forgive me, Lord! Now what do I do?”
Holy Spirit: “Allow Me to work. Don’t try to DO anything! This is wisdom. Some could be lost.”
Me: “Lord, couldn’t angels do all of this? Why use me?”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, there is a battle going on right now. You asked to be used. Shall I get someone else?”
Just then, I saw a veil over my eyes lift. I saw demons of every kind fighting angels from heaven. They were all around me. The demons were preventing or delaying angels from getting to saints. There were so many over this area alone, that if the Lord had not given me a veil, I would’ve been too distracted to focus solely on this boy Kelzi.
Me: “Oh my goodness, Lord, this is frightening.”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, please continue. I will put the veil over your eyes so you can focus on your assignment. Now, you may ask questions later.”
Me: “Lord, one quick one. Do all of these people see into the spirit realm?”
Holy Spirit: “Yes, many can.”
Me: “How are they able to survive?”
Holy Spirit: “Too many questions, Erin. Later for answers. Move now!”
Me: “Yes, Lord.”
I heard gunfire drawing closer. Demons must have warned humans that I was here. I went to the sniper station and saw a sniper rifle that was so advanced, even beyond mine. Everything was digital. I looked through the sight. With one lens I could see human heat through the building about 50 yards from me. I saw a mass of heat in a corner. It looked like several people. I moved the sight around and heard an alert from the iPad. I looked and saw snipers set up at several locations, moving in on the building across the street. The iPad said some code name. I read the foreign script. It said, “Black Dog Shoot To Kill Now!”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, the sniper across from you is not one of Mine, but the enemy – remove it now.”
Me: “What? Shoot, Lord … seriously?”
Holy Spirit: “Shoot first; ask questions later.”
I was shaking. I pointed the rifle. I realized this was the person who shot Kelzi. It was one of his own. I knew instinctively it was. I looked through the sight. I was alerted by the iPad that I had locked the target, and before I could pull the trigger the gun went off. I heard no sound. I received a vibration alert that I had hit the target. Weird. I didn’t even do anything. I looked through the sight and saw the red-heat of the sniper’s body fading. His body was down. The iPad alerted me to more – “NOW”! I still had the other rifle on my back. I knew I needed to get over to the other building. I snapped the digital sight off of Kelzi’s sniper rifle and took the iPad and sight with me. Again, this was supernatural – not something I would know on my own!
I began to run to the roof door. I opened the metal door and stepped into the darkness. I was in a pitch-black stairwell. I felt a switch on the sight that I had taken. I moved the switch and the one sight worked like a flashlight. This scope had three lenses and a body like a camcorder – the old-fashioned kind. I’m sure the parts had names, but I didn’t think it mattered much right now. I quickly used the scope to find my way in the dark. I was thanking the Lord for putting the veil back on. I would have been too busy watching that battle, instead of doing what I was sent here for. “ – Boy, do I have questions for the Lord later!”
I reached the bottom of the stairs and opened the door slowly. I grabbed the rifle behind me. I moved the strap forward so the rifle was in my hands. The sight on the rifle I had must have been first generation, as it was clearly not as advanced. I had a pack that I put the digital scope into, as well as the iPad. I entered into an alleyway. I looked toward my target building and ran quickly to the edge of the building. There were bombs going off only about 100 yards away now. There were helicopters in the air looking for me, or the people in the other building, or both. I didn’t know how to get across the street without snipers shooting me.
Me: “Lord, I could use help here, now. Show me which way to go.”
Just then He lifted the veil over my eyes. I saw a double row of angels, creating a path for me to the other building. They were fighting demons. I saw an angel I recognized from the Path a long time ago. He whistled for me to move, so I ran full force to the other building and through the door being held by another angel. Just as I went through the door, the angels and demons disappeared. I knew they were still there. Wow!
Me: “God, You are truly amazing! Beyond incredible! I am honored by Your amazing love for the lost – well, humbled that I would be able to be used for anything.”
I was inside the building, which I knew held others. The bombs were blowing up adjacent buildings, hoping to kill these people. I began to run through broken glass, office discs, computers, chairs. All was in disarray. Someone had moved the items to block the stairwell area. The glass was there so they could hear the enemy. I didn’t know if they had rifles too, or what was going on. I climbed over all the stuff and pried open the door to the stairs. I was in my 25-year-old glorified body, so I could move with ease. I was able to get through a ten-inch crack in the door, barely. Once through, I snuck up the stairs to the third floor. The door was open. I looked down and realized a body was keeping the door open. He was dead. I looked through the opening and saw more bodies. These were young people, as young as sixteen to eighteen years old. I saw both girls and boys, unarmed. They had all been shot by sniper through the window. It must have been Kelzi’s rifle. I saw one body twitching by the window. I looked around the corner of the door and saw more bodies.
Me: “Lord, give me strength.” I ran over to the twitching boy by the window. He had lost a lot of blood. “Please wake up.” My language was this foreign tongue. The boy opened his eyes. He had no energy to even care if I was the enemy. “I am here to let you know that Jesus sent me to take you home.” He couldn’t speak; he had been shot in the side of his neck, and just minutes ago. “I will speak for you. Do you know Jesus?”
Boy: He nodded, “Yes.”
Me: “Will you take Him as your Lord and Savior?”
Boy: He nodded “yes” as tears streamed down his cheeks. He grabbed my wrist. He moved my arm to a closet across the room.
Me: “There are more there in the closet?” He nodded “yes” again. “Okay, I will get to them, but first you. The angels are ready to take you home to Heaven. Will you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior before it’s too late?”
Holy Spirit: “Erin, this one is Mine. It’s okay.”
Me: “The Lord has told me that you are His.”
Boy: The boy began to cry and whimper. He was trying to speak with his mouth, but he couldn’t. Tears were flowing down his cheeks, and with a last bit of effort he managed to speak. “Spaceeba.” I heard in another language, but that is what it sounded like. (I believe it was a Thank You!)
Me: “I will see you up there soon, too! Don’t be afraid – the Lord is with you!” He grabbed my wrist and moved it to the closet door before he went to be with the Lord.
I quickly got to my feet and began to climb over bodies, desks, computers, and glass. I realized midway that shots were coming at me, as I heard some whiz by my ears. Amazingly – by Divine Design – I was not hit by these bullets. I was supernaturally protected. I reached the closet. I heard crying from within.
Me: “Don’t be afraid. I am not the enemy. I am here to help you.”
Just then the door opened. Inside were four scared girls and three boys. A few of them had lost their bodily functions; the smell was horrendous. They looked glad to see me. They were speaking at me all at once. I didn’t know what they were saying. I held up my hands to quiet them. One of the girls saw the boy by the window, dead, and began to sob inconsolably.
Me: “Please don’t worry or be afraid.”
One of the children – “teens” – said, “Are you an angel?”
Me: “No, I am not. I come from Heaven, assigned by God to let you know He is with You and loves you.”
Teen (a boy): “How can He be with us? He killed our family. He killed our friends. He killed our parents. He allowed my sisters to be raped before they were killed – there were only four and six years old. He doesn’t love us.”
Teen (a girl): “He deserted us and killed us off one-by-one, and now we will be next. Lady, you are next.”
Me: “You are wrong. God didn’t kill your family. There is a war, which you cannot see occurring now. God is giving you a chance. The bombs are getting closer. Soon the enemy will find you. Your friend over there is with Jesus – He took him home. Now, do you want to be here alone with them?”
Instantly, the spirit realm was visible. It was horrific. The teens were screaming. Demons were being held back by angels.
Me: “We don’t have much time. Jesus is ready to help you safe in His Arms. Are you ready? He has taken your sisters and your friend to Heaven already. Now, join them before it is too late.” Instantly they knelt to the floor. Their hands were shaking.
Teens: “We will take Jesus.”
Me: “The Lord knows all that you have been through. Accepting Him now is good. You will receive a special crown for this. You have suffered much. If you are holding anything against anyone, you must forgive so that God can forgive you.” Immediately they confessed and named offenders.
Teen: “How can I forgive the person who hurt my sisters? They were little!”
Me: “I understand this more than you know (I began to cry as I write). You must release both this evil and the person used by the enemy to God, so the Accuser can hold nothing against you in court. You must be free from unforgiveness and let God be a Just Judge against your enemy.”
Immediately, the children confessed even more. It was heartbreaking, as I realized these kids had stories supernaturally downloaded – wretched details, which I could temporarily see … things done to them in secret. All of them were confessing without me saying anything. One said, “God, please forgive me for pretending to be God!” All of them confessed the same.
Holy Spirit: “Erin, tell them I am pleased with them. It is time they are Mine forever.”
Me (in their language): “The Lord is pleased with you. You are His. He is ready to receive you. Are you ready to meet Him?”
All of them in tears accepted Jesus! I heard “spaceeba” or something like this, and “Jesus.” Just then, I heard the building collapsing around us. The roof caved in. The debris fell around us. I grabbed the teens. We could see up, and a plane dropped a missile as I saw the sky open. We must have died – well, I didn’t – but at that moment Heaven Opened to receive these children. Wow!
I then was on the rooftop of a distant building. Across the city, I could see an Open Heaven and an Epic War. I saw just a few saints less than God’s handful being carried Home. It was a desolate landscape. A place with No Hope – void of God. Completely void. Well, I guess not really. “Lord, I have questions.”
Immediately, I was walking through a Heavenly vineyard…
Dream Over for today …
Part II continues below….
Thank You for Another Day! Lord, I need help I have so many questions – so many!
Erin Come Up!
I was in the Heavenly Vineyard. I saw several types of grapes. One vineyard had beautiful white grapes, light green and gold in color. They were not ready yet for harvest. This vineyard was higher up on the mountain down to my right. I saw harvesters singing and praising the Lord for the beautiful grapes and record yield. These grapes were light red and pink. To my left and off to the side I saw them finishing the last pick of some beautiful deep red and burgundy grapes. There were large baskets and the juiciest of all grapes being carried off for crushing. I saw in the distance the beautiful Chateau – French in style and beyond that the celebration of the Harvesters.
The dirt was sparkling, dark and rich, unlike the desert vineyards here. In Heaven the precious mineral content of the ground combined with Heavenly air – oxygen – well the soil was/is rich with life. Heavenly soil is not dirty. It doesn’t mulch nor are there rotting organic products. The food is grown here not from death, but growth purely from living water and soil.
I had beautiful sandals on with braids of something like leather; I threw them off so my bare feet were on the soil. I was wearing a skirt, white flowing blouse, and a type of pouch around my waist. I ran up the first row where the harvesters were and grabbed a bunch of jeweled red and pink grapes. I put the bunch in my pouch and then I ran up a row of vines to the burgundy grapes. I had wanted to try out the grapes as they were perfected. As I ran to those, I looked at the white, light green and gold grapes for a moment. I stopped to pick a bunch. I hesitated. They weren’t ready yet so I bypassed them. I was laughing with joy that I was here and safe in Heaven. I was so relieved to be here. I found a bunch of burgundy grapes; I picked them and put them in my pouch. One of the grapes dropped to the ground. I quickly bent down and put it into my month. The grape burst as I bit right into it! It tasted wonderful. It was slightly like an Earthly red grape, but nothing like it at all. I pulled another off of the bunch in my pouch. I have only tasted two varieties of grapes in a supermarket. These were different. They were rich both sour and sweet. Well, sour is the wrong word. They make you want to eat more. With grapes on Earth, they are okay, but I don’t go out of my way to purchase them and my children don’t go out of their way to eat them. Here however, if there were just grapes to eat here, I could live off of them – well and living water too. I giggled to myself…
I heard a bunch of Harvesters call for me. Erin, come to the celebration.” They were loading up a type of high-tech cart led by horses. The horses actually looked like they were excited to pull in the harvested grapes as well as the harvesters.
I laughed, “They know me? How funny is that?” I had seen the Harvest celebrations when I was here last year and it was so much fun. The angels were here too. The cart was continuing to move. I waved them on. I stopped and looked around me. I saw waves of color on this mountain. It was breathtakingly beautiful. The smells were so fragrant. I loved the smell of fresh mowed grass, mountain air and even a hint of eucalyptus. I didn’t see any eucalyptus around, but they must be close. I was on the southern side of the valley – which will one day be my eternal Home. There was a beautiful southern breeze. I sat down in a row of vineyards and looked up. It was so peaceful. I could hear song birds everywhere. They were singing praises to God. I never understood how we were taught that we would be at the Throne of God 24/7 worshiping Him on our knees. This wasn’t something I looked forward to.
I said to myself, “Forgive me God, for my thoughts.” I realized that because of the place He has prepared for us here, we will constantly worship Him and thank Him for all Eternity. There will not be one single entity in Heaven, not constantly Praising and Worshiping God for this incredible Gift of Jesus. He saved us. God sent Him! He showed us the way Home! The Path which leads to Paradise! I am so thankful! I grinned and I laid down in the vineyard to rest. I must have drifted off to sleep as I awakened by something scurrying across my stomach. I looked down and here was a family of quail in a row traveling right over me. I laughed and sat up. These little babies were so cute. They were silver and gold with a little plume of blue and purple. The parents were even more colorful. I thought, wow they can also be glorified in full color here. They have no enemy, no need to be camouflaged in gray and brown to stay hidden. I recognized the sound they were making.
I stood up on my feet. I didn’t know how long I had drifted off to sleep. I still heard the celebration at my friend’s vineyard. I turned around to go down the row and I spotted Jesus. He was gleaning the last few burgundy grapes. He has a large pouch like basket over His shoulder. He was taking all of the grapes, I laughed it’s not like any of them are bad here. He waved at me. I ran fast down the row I was in and over to the place He was harvesting.
Jesus: “Erin did you have a good rest?”
Me: “Yes I’m glad the quails woke me up. I could sleep here a few days.”
Jesus: “Yes I know, I sent them to wake you up. I’m glad you woke up when you did, those parents can become quite loud. You would’ve been startled.” He was smiling and jovial.
Me: “Wow! Lord in Heaven every harvest is a record harvest. How does this not become routine?”
I saw Jesus laughing along with the angels. They obviously know more than I do about Heaven.
Me: “Okay so everything here is perfect – how does it not become boring or like that movie ’Ground Hog Day’?”
Jesus: “Interesting choice of words. Are you worried that things in Heaven will be monotonous?”
Me: “It’s okay with me, Lord, everyday can be the same. I’m fine with it. Don’t send me back to the war, I have perspectives now that I didn’t before so, please, please forgive me.”
Jesus: “Are you negotiating with Me Erin?” He was laughing, “Ask any of the harvesters here, ask the vineyard owner. Do you think that days cannot be interesting unless there is trouble or trials? This doesn’t sound right. You spent your entire Earthly existence praying for peace and rest with no poverty or trouble. Now you are requesting trouble in Heaven to shake things up a bit? You are funny Erin.”
Me: “When You say it like this it sounds horrible Lord – please forgive me.”
Jesus: “Erin, you were just taken to a war zone yesterday. One in which the only winners were the ones saved by Me. In an Earthly sense the winners were the ones with the most kills. Are you requesting this in Heaven?” He stopped and so did the angels – All of them became serious and looked at me. For a split second I was terrified. I knew God could split the ground open and throw me into it with one wave of His Arm.
Me: “Oh Lord, please forgive me. I speak with ignorance. I don’t want anything from Earth up here!”
Jesus: He was laughing, “Erin choose your words carefully. The power of Life or death is spoken through the portal of your mouth. Let your words be few. Now I have called you friend.” He was calming and kind. I realized He just gave me the most gentle rebuke, ever! “I know what you have been wondering for some time. With all things perfected here, how will it remain interesting right?”
Meanwhile I noticed as the angels continued to pick the remnant bundles – they smiled and laughed. I could see they had memories and stories about what they had seen and experienced with Jesus over the years.
Me: “Yes Lord, remember I approach Heavenly things and the mysteries of You with youthful wonder…. (pause) … and exuberant ignorance.”
Jesus: “Now that is funny and truthful! Very good!” He continued to glean grapes.
Me: “Lord, why are You picking the remnant grapes. Aren’t there workers for this?”
Jesus: “Oh am I not capable? Erin your questions are funny.”
Me: “Lord it reminds me of what you took me through yesterday.”
Jesus: “Erin there is much more to this than you know. The harvest is plentiful, but the Laborers are few! Remember this Erin; it is not a mystery but a fact.”
Me: “Lord, I’m glad You and the angels are grabbing the remnants. These grapes are too good to be left on the vine.” I reached into my pouch and dropped a grape into my mouth. I spun around as if performing a pirouette. I was being silly. They continued to glean.
Jesus: “Erin, in all the times in which you’ve come up here, have you ever been bored, even once?”
Me: “Oh no Lord. No!”
Jesus: “Do you agree that each time has been new and different?”
Me: “Yes, Lord always!”
Jesus: “I make all things new. There are an infinite number of things to discover here. Every Harvest is new and different here. Each one is memorable. Each batch of wine is different. A fisherman here will still desire to fish for pleasure, each catch new and different. Each day, better than the last, there is so much to do. Earth is pale in comparison. Erin you know this!”
Me: “Of course Lord. I’m sorry. We are taught that perfection on Earth is unattainable, but you can purchase it with means. You can pretend to have it all on Facebook. You can be anything you claim to be there.“
Jesus: “Yes, again Earth is pretense and falsified pretenders of heavenly ways. Erin, you talked to Me in your car about something several days ago when you were in Bend, do you remember?”
Me: “Yes Lord, I drove around the Butte I live on to take some photos. I didn’t really know if I’d ever be making the trip again, and I hadn’t been back since to compare it to what I’d seen in Heaven. I saw the snow covered volcanoes, seven peaks on the other side of the wooded valley. The sky was blue and the air crystal clear and fragrant. The houses were beautiful, but nothing like Heaven. I remember thinking this was a small slice of Heaven on Earth. I quickly dismissed it when I saw the true colors. Everything had a haze about it, a dull sheen – colors, but gray-scale. Not crisp and perfect like here in Heaven. I cried as I left Bend. I drove no further. First I realized this was not my home, it had no luster. I couldn’t afford this place as only people with money live here. I wasn’t qualified for this place. I became a person looking through a storefront window with no money in my pocket, too poor to purchase what I wanted. My door had closed. I was sad.”
Jesus: “Erin, you understand that many of the people you saw will only know that small piece of pretend heaven right? As you have seen at the end, money won’t be able to save them. They will remember back to a time before and heaven to them will – their earthly mansions will be also their tombs. So do not envy them, pray for them as they are like infants wandering through the glass shop. They can barely walk, they drool even, they see something bright and shiny and they take it, they want it. – See and understand. The glass shop also has a glass ceiling where by God can see. Blessed be that infant, who looks up to see God and ask for His Father to pick him up! Erin the Laborers are few.”
Me: “I don’t understand Lord; I thought You had said there is nothing more for us to do.”
Jesus: “Yes on your own this is correct, but allow Me to work through you – this is wisdom. Now you have been looking for your heavenly Home on Earth. Have you been successful?”
Me: “No Lord, I have searched all over the world online and nothing compares to it – or any of my friend’s mansions either. I realized that my Home here in the mountains would be far beyond Earth. I thought I could find one close to post on the Barn, but I cannot find it anywhere. I thought I could find a house close in Bend, but there was nothing! It made being there much easier. I was there with a different attitude. Before I saw everything from a perspective of my own lack, now I looked at everything from the way you might see me. I was a princess – hidden in plain sight – giggles. You took the sting of pain away!” He walked over to me and gave me a side hug and a kiss on my forehead.
Jesus: “You let this go. This is good Erin. What else did your journey teach you?”
Me: “Lord, forgiveness. I still had not fully forgiven. I saw the contents of the boxes and I wanted to run. It was too painful. I hung on to this after I closed the storage unit door and locked it. I prayed for rapture so I wouldn’t need to come back to it ever. That night when I got home I was so depressed. The next morning I fell, and now I have been out of work for a few days – painful but restful.”
Jesus: “So why was the fall allowed?”
Me: “I guess to squeeze out my pride and stubbornness like one of those grapes, maybe?”
Jesus: “Oh really? Did this work?” I looked at Him and laughed.
Me: “Yes, I think so, but I’m not sure what was more painful; the fall, or people emailing me personally to talk about my unrepentant sin, and how poorly I am to remove the enemy from my life.”
Jesus: “Yes, it’s common. Many are well-meaning, but act void of my leading. You know and understand it is best to wait on Me and let your words be few.”
Me: “I have learned without Your lead, when I react to someone’s situation and base it solely on my own experience I cause offense. I later find myself being tested on the very same thing I put into motion with my mouth. My words opened the door for the enemy to declare war against me. I had a higher position in my mind than I ought.”
Jesus: Laughing, “This is wisdom. Now, don’t receive that which was not sent from Me. Pray and bless friends with no true understanding, but encourage and build them up. Intercede for those who are stubborn; that seasoning, salt enhances them with grace, for they too are under a glass ceiling, and time is proceeding quickly. Do so with love, do not rush in with no leading with all kinds of evil behind you – understand?”
Me: “Yes, I understand that there is no time for fighting. Lord, can I help You glean the grape remnants?”
Jesus: “Remember, what you ask for Erin!” He was laughing. An angel came over to me with a basket to hand to me.
Me: “Hey, I recognize you from the path yesterday. You held the door open for me. Now you’re harvesting grapes?” He smiled and looked at Jesus.
Jesus: “Erin let’s discuss what you went through!” I was grabbing grapes from the vine and putting them in the basket.
Me: “Lord, why are there so many grapes on these vines, and why the hurry?”
Jesus: “The Harvesters grabbed what they could carry. They were anxious to go to the celebration. It was their reward for a good harvest, remember? Why are you still here?” He smiled and laughed and looked at me.
Me: “Lord, I want to be where You are?”
Jesus: “Yes, but you elected to stay and glean why?”
Me: “The grapes left here are still good. Some are ready, just forgotten. Obviously they aren’t forgotten because You are here right?”
Jesus: “Yes, Erin.” He laughed and shook His head.
Me: “Lord, what was that sniper stuff about? Is this real? Is this coming? Why was I in tactical gear, not a robe? The children – the teens touched me – how did they do this?”
Jesus: “So many questions. First Erin, come with Me!” He has angels grab our baskets. Instantly we are at my friend’s chateau. The Harvesters are smashing grapes with their feet. They are celebrating. The grapes will make incredible wine. “Erin the wine will taste sweeter when you are all here, but you remember the process takes some crushing first. The grape tastes wonderful right off of the vine, but it is even better made into wine for the wedding feast. Now take My hand again.” Immediately we were in the Golden City. I stood next to Him overlooking the massive park with the Throne and Sea of Glass on the right. My clothes had turned into a beautiful bridal gown. It was amazing. I still wasn’t sure if this was to be “The Gown” but it was never-the-less symbolic of what is to come. The clarity in which I can see here is amazing.
Me: “Oh Lord, I can see so clearly it is beautiful and fragrant. The blossoms are amazing, it looks like late spring, but I’m not sure. It looks perfect for a wedding!”
Jesus: “Now first I showed you the crushing. Now you are here preparing for the wedding. You know that the wine will be served at a wedding banquet. Why did I show you this?”
Me: “To show me my place here. I guess my position. It is a position of honor not to be treated casually and with a higher status than others. Meaning, I shouldn’t view myself as higher than I ought.”
Jesus: “Very good Erin! You understand that you have come to this place at a high cost. You traded your Earthly ambitions for Heavenly treasures, those which will have true luster and worth. You are not to get wrapped up in status contests with others. This wastes precious time. Understood? Now, why did I dress you as a sniper and take you to a foreign land?”
Me: “First, Lord please forgive me if I have ever thought higher of myself than I am. Forgive me for being upset at my circumstances. Forgive me for self-reliance and self-pity. Help me Lord to be more like You.”
Jesus: “Erin you are forgiven. You were purchased for a high price. The enemy would like you back now. He knows what is coming. This is why your battles have been so difficult recently. The enemy doesn’t like the message of hope you are giving.”
Me: “Lord, this is Your message.”
Jesus: “Yes, but your vessel is being filled by Me. You are an enemy of the enemy. This is good! Now, the sniper uniform is to show you that wherever I will take you – if you are willing – you will be well-equipped! Only when you stopped to question, was there a delay. You were shown a place out of your area of expertise or knowledge. Instead of getting in your own way, you recognized that you were able and willing but not capable to do things you had no knowledge of. You were sent to a place foreign to you. You didn’t even understand the language unless I gave you the knowledge supernaturally. Now when you read this first part to your teenage sons, what happened?”
Me: “Oh Lord, sorry to say they had 100 times more knowledge than I did.”
Jesus: “They knew the first sniper rifle, the one you carried, but until you all researched it together, you were unaware that the other was actually in production now.”
Me: “Yes, Lord I got the chills when we found something close online. My sons told me that some of what I had experienced sounded like a game called “Black Ops.” All of a sudden they seemed more interested in the dreams. I’m embarrassed to think wars got them excited about You!”
Jesus: “Let’s talk more about what questions they asked you?”
Me: “They asked me why the other sniper – Kelzi’s ally killed Kelzi. Then my other son said, “Oh I know, he was going to steal his I-pad and steal his kills. He was going to get some reward for kills.” Lord, it makes complete sense, and senseless, heartless really.”
Jesus: “Agreed, we will come back to this. What was next?”
Me: “Apparently, my older son said the room with the bodies and the teen twitching was like the game to him. They asked me if I saw anyone older in tribulation over age 20. I thought about it and realized I hadn’t. Lord, is this because anyone older is killed?”
Jesus: “What does scripture say about failing hearts? You saw into the spirit realm and saw what was there. Do you believe an elderly person is agile enough to dodge bullets, or find food – or for that matter a doctor?”
Me: I had become very sad. “Lord, please forgive my questions up on that roof – or my judgments.”
Jesus: “Erin, I had you first minister to Kelzi for a reason. If you had ministered first to the teens, you would’ve held judgment against him. You would’ve hesitated. Now I showed you that when you are used for my purposes you must become low and allow Me to increase. You decrease. Understood? Do you still want to continue?” He was firm but extremely loving. I looked into His eyes. I saw more trouble. I saw epic battles. I then saw Kelzi hugging his grandmother near the Village in the Valley! I lit up and hugged Jesus!”
Me: “Oh thank You Lord! Thank You! I thought I would have rest right away and that I would just come up and dance in the river and nap in the lilies!”
Jesus: “Laughing – Oh Erin, you will, you will…this you have seen. It is not contingent on your performance. However when you saw those children, even Kelzi, you felt love, compassion and urgency. You let your words be few. You said what I directed you too! There was a great celebration after this, that you have not seen yet.”
Me: “So this was real? When did this happen? It is future right?”
Jesus: “One day soon you will understand. Now what do I require?”
Me: “To love the Lord God with all of my heart, soul, and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. Lord, why was tribulation like a battlefield game?”
Jesus: “Saints will be hunted down. The enemy knows what is coming and has a plan. You have seen this.”
Me: “Lord, You mean like tracking systems? It will be an unfair advantage, how will the saints make it?”
Jesus: “Erin, the enemy will rely on earthly resources; that is all the enemy has. Heaven has access to both. Do not worry about how; just know things are in place and all according to plan. The enemy operates under the same glass ceiling; just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean God can’t. Even Heaven can see. The pleading for these teens and others from families in Heaven are deafening, but God sees all and hears their cries.”
Me: “Help me to do only Your will. I never want to get in Your way.” Jesus was laughing.
Jesus: “You can only get in your own way sweet Erin, NOT GOD’s!”
Me: “Lord I have so many more questions. Are the hi-tech helicopters the locusts? They looked like giant flying bugs.”
Jesus: “Erin somewhat, there is more. Stay to your path, your course. This is wisdom.”
Me: “Lord, a close friend of mine takes the dreams and removes me completely out of them so only Your words remain. Should we do this? I heard some of them and with me removed Your words were very strong.”
Jesus: He was laughing. “Oh remove the Bride out of the equation? Very clever! In some circumstances you could glean much from this; in others you remove My love story for you! My love story is written on the tablet of your heart Erin. Your questions come from your heart. I love this about you. You fear me, but you are unafraid of Me because you know how much you are loved! There is something to this though and it might be worth exploring. Do you not realize that everything you say and do is divine inspiration – for better or worse all of your questions are human – gentile in nature.” He laughed, “So you even speaking to Me would cause ruffles to feathers, even amongst My disciples long ago. You witnessed Elijah’s eye rolls right?” We both laughed.
Me: “I still feel so unworthy but so humbled by all of this. Thank You Lord. Please remove me and my children to a safe place soon Lord. It’s coming Lord. I don’t want my boys to speak to the enemy with no leading. I would rather hide them, than see them hurt. Please Lord!”
Jesus: “I promised to remove you before the time of trouble. Do not be afraid! You are loved! By a lot of Mothers too!”
Me: “I love You too and I pray You are able to use me always – for Moms too!
Faith Training and Psalm 23 – #112 Sunday, May 18, 2014
Thank You for another day! Thank You for the signs of Your love and favor despite the difficult time we are having right now. Now instead of listening to the voices of condemnation, we are choosing to take a stand and pray.
Please forgive me as I have not asked again for prayers. Lord now I have become stiff necked as a prideful bird and I have no longer wanted to show my vulnerabilities. This is the truth; I am confessing with both my mouth and pen. Lord, on my birthday this year You told me I would be free soon. You told me I would no longer suffer shame. You would remove me from this desert place. You even said, “Erin, you are a flower in the desert not a desert flower!” Lord, please You are my Advocate. My Kinsman Redeemer, You are my Attorney, plead my case in God’s Courts. Please Lord, remove this enemy, Honestly, Lord it is not the enemy but other Christians, who hurt my feelings – Wow. There I confessed it.
Please forgive me Lord for holding anything against my brothers or sisters in Christ. Many of them have been with me from the beginning and are for me. Why Lord then, have I built walls? One small email can keep me from going to the Barn for prayers, and encouragement, You have also shown me the resentment of some who are not part of the Barn. Lord how can I be called by You when one small thing starts a fire storm? We have all been called for a purpose. All of Your saints have been called to this special time. It is a miracle. You have witnessed a hunger in us; a desire to be with You, forsaking all others. This is a time of great anticipation, sometimes fear, elation, and longing for our Eternity to begin. This place has become dark and we are wearing out. We know that Your Church is a bride. To those who belong to a wonderful church, whose foundations are grounded in truth and love – hold on to this! This will be a beacon in the coming storm; as surely Lord, You will shine like a diamond to the lost. To those churches who have cast You aside – Lord may those believers be gathered unto to You. I became disillusioned with the yokes of well-meaning Christians long ago. Everyone wants to be first. I felt unqualified from the pews. I even enrolled in Graduate Seminary thinking I would find You there. Instead I saw liturgical ceremonies, scripts and less of You.
Now here I am. I asked for more. I have seen You at the Bridal Chamber in Heaven; even though I felt unclean in my walk. I was declared by You white as snow. Now with my trials, I wonder will You still take me as I am? Can I be loved like a tax-collector? Can I be loved like someone who has blood on their hands from taking a life? Can You love me if sometimes I doubt my place in Your Heart? Can You love me if I make mistakes? Is Your path so narrow there is no room for my Feet? Is there room for anyone’s feet? You have shown me great mysteries and wondrous Glory in Heaven. I am in awe at Your Majesty and I am in amazement by Your Works. ….But Lord am I worthy of it? Are any of us? Lord, the Ocean is deep, dark and scary. The waves are higher than I can see. If I call You, are You really there? If You don’t answer my prayers for healing and deliver me to a safe shore – have I been forgotten? Am I out of Your love and favor now? Did I do something wrong? Will You answer me?
“Erin Come Up!”
Immediately I was at Golgotha. The sky was dark and in gray-scale. I barely saw light as the sun was filtered out by an eclipse. The moon began to move over the sun and a small sliver of light silhouetted the three crosses. There were three bodies there, two thieves and Jesus. There was a horrible gale force wind and dust. I heard a great rumble and then the ground shook. I fell to my knees. I heard the Voice of God say, “Erin, who here was worthy to come to the Throne?” I was on my knees as the ground continued to shake. I was terrified, I could barely speak.
Me: “Father God, Jesus was and is Worthy. He is the tender shoot – Jesus.”
God: “Erin, did the thief ask to be remembered by My Son?”
Me: “Yes, Father.”
God: “Where is the thief today?”
Me: “In paradise with Jesus.”
God: “If My Son declared him worthy then he is worthy. Accepted! DO NOT QUESTION YOUR WORTH, DO NOT DOUBT. MY SON CHOSE YOU. YOU ARE WORTHY! ERIN, I MADE YOU. YOU ARE LOVED AND I AM WELL PLEASED. DO YOU WANT TO REMAIN HERE OR WOULD YOU COME TO ME?
I was shaking and crying…
Me: “I am sorry God. Please forgive me. I do not want to come here again, please remove me.”
God: “Please – STOP CRUCIFING YOURSELF AND JESUS. ERIN I HAVE NOT FORESAKEN YOU. MANY WHO CLAIM TO ACCEPT JESUS WOULD BE THE ONES KEEPING THESE THREE CROSSES ACTIVE. THERE WOULD BE MANY NAILS AND NO RESURRECTION. SO IT WAS THEN, IT WILL BE AGAIN. THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN. YOU HAVE BEEN SET FREE. YOU HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OVER AND OVER – 70 X 7. I AM THE TRUE JUDGE. I HAVE THE POWER OVER LIFE AND DEATH – JESUS HOLDS THE KEYS! WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE? ARE YOU READY TO SEE MORE? THE HARVEST IS PLENTY, THE WORKERS FEW!”
Me: “Yes, Lord!”
Then an Angel of the Lord appeared before me!
Angel: “I have been sent by God to take you to see some things. Are you ready?”
Me: “I think so!”
The Angel brought me up to my feet and took my hand. Instantly we were in a very arid place – the desert. I could tell it was somewhere in the Middle East. I saw a group of American soldiers and young children. The soldiers were playing with the children and handing them candy. I saw some local men of the village hate the soldiers. I saw the men plotting to kill the soldiers. (The Angel waved his hand and I saw time move forward.) Something had happened and I saw the bodies of the children lying on the ground. The soldiers were being blamed for killing the children – but they didn’t. The children were used as shields to hide the enemy, as the enemy shot. I heard wailing and mourning. I saw a helicopter take the soldiers out of the area. The burdens of the soldiers were so great. The yokes were huge.
Me: “Angel this is heartbreaking, those poor soldiers and mothers of the children. How horrible, why am I being shown this?”
Next I was taken to a small African Village. There was no water. I saw a mother of two sick children walk for hours to the watering hole to fill her buckets and containers while her sick children were at the village. She was weak also and after filling her vessels she fell along the path and spilled most of the vessels. It was heartbreaking to watch. She was so upset with herself she was crying. Since she was so close to the village she carried what she had but it was only enough for one child. Her children were ages three and five. The five year old was not going to last. Either way one child would die. She couldn’t decide. She asked for help if anyone could loan her water she could bring twice as much the next day. She was turned away. People wanted to help but needed water too. I saw her give the water to her three year old. She held her five year old as the boy began to close his eyes. She rocked him and sang a song asking for the angels to take him to a land where there was good water and plenty. I watched as the child’s body went limp. I heard wailing reach the Throne of God. I heard her ask for forgiveness for her fall along the road. She blamed herself for spilling the vessels of water.
Me: “Oh Angel this is too hard to watch, it wasn’t her fault!”
The Angel took my hand. Next we were looking at a vehicle which had gone under water at a flooded river crossing. It was somewhere in South America. I saw an old truck with a baby being held by a girl about nine years old. The truck was suddenly swept away. Water began to fill the cab of the truck. A tree branch went through the cab and pinned the mother so she couldn’t get out. She yelled at her child to take the baby and get on the roof of the truck and call for help. The little nine year old didn’t want to leave her mom but soon the water would be too high. The mother yelled again, so the little girl, shaking and crying held the baby with one arm and crawled onto the roof of the truck. She was shaking and crying and calling for help. Some men were coming to rescue her. She could hear her mother telling her she loved her and she was proud of her. She told her to be brave, take care of her sister and walk with God. I heard her call her Mia or Mea – something like that… Then there was silence as the water had overcome the cab of the truck. The men came too late to save the girl’s mom, but the children were saved.
I was crying so hard…
Me: “Angel, please no more.”
Angel: “I have more to show you – there is a reason Erin.”
Me: “Please tell God I am sorry for taking Jesus to the cross over and over.”
Angel: “Erin, it is not about that, please you will find out the love and grace of God is sovereign and perfect in your trials. Now would you like to continue?”
Angel: “You make a common mistake. I have witnessed this through the ages. You don’t look up enough. You humans focus on yourselves and those around you for your gauge. This is the trouble before you now. Know who sees all, Erin. It is God the Creator of all who sees everything. Look up! Come!”
He takes my hand. We are in Norman, Oklahoma. This was an area where all of my Dad’s roots are. The graves here are filled with my relatives. I saw a normal day here, but clouds gathering in the distance. The Angel took me to a Southern part of the city. Or at least it looked like it from my vantage point. We were at a small farm. There were white buildings and I believe corn fields, but I’m not certain.
I saw a father calling his two boys in to wash before supper. They had modern farm equipment. The day was hot and still. I saw the boys’ mother cooking in the kitchen of the cute farmhouse. All of a sudden I saw a funnel cloud on the horizon. The family looked so secure. I heard the father yell. The mother ran to the storm cellar. The father gathered the sons. They ran for the cellar. The tornado came from nowhere. The father carried the younger boy, while he held the hand of the 9 year old boy. They got to the cellar. The mother grabbed the younger boy and just a split second as the father was bringing the other boy in something impaled the father’s arm. Instantly the boy was swept up by the tornado. The father fell into the cellar and the door slammed shut. In an instant one child was gone. In a blink – gone! The wailing was almost as deafening as the sound of the tornado. No, movie could capture this. None! When the tornado passed in a matter of minutes, the family stepped out of the cellar to see everything gone. Their entire farm was gone. The father and mother ran everywhere and called out to their son.
Me: “Angel is the son okay?”
Angel: “He has been taken home Erin.”
Me: “Lord, why have you shown me this?”
Angel: “Erin it is for me to take you to these places. I do not grant you knowledge. The Lord will show you more. Are you able?”
Me: I was in tears and shock. “Yes, but I don’t like it.”
The angel takes my hand. We are taken somewhere in Russia or the Soviet Union. It is winter. It seems like another place in time. Some soldiers have arrived at a small cottage of a potato farmer. The soldiers accused him of some sort of treason. The soldiers grabbed the farmer while his young children and his wife begged. The farmer was taken outside and shot in the back. The soldiers made the farmer’s wife cook for them. She was shattered but to keep her children safe she told her children to be brave. The wicked soldiers pillaged all they had and took anything of worth, while the woman cooked. After they ate, they raped the woman and one of her daughters age 6 (I became sick). One of the soldiers took the little 4 year old girl into the woods. The boy was about 5 years old. The soldiers had tied him up and had him gagged. The soldier shot the 6 year old girl and after some time they heard another shot in the woods. The mother was shot above the heart – but she was not dead. The soldiers left. The mother was very weak. She dragged herself to the place where her son was tied up and got him free. She could barely speak. The boy held his mom while she gave him instructions to be brave. I saw angels attending to the scene. The angels were grieving. The mother died, but she asked the little boy for forgiveness. She said to pray. There is a God. She took her last breath. The little boy who seemed all of a sudden much older went to the floor boards and gathered a pistol and some money hidden from the soldiers. He reluctantly packed some things as he was shaking and crying for his papa and mama.
Me: “How can God watch this and not burn with anger? The other things were accidents except for the first. How can this happen?”
Angel: “Erin you don’t know God and His purposes. You are not God, don’t judge Him.”
Me: “I am both grieved and angry. Those children could’ve been mine. This reminds me of that teenager in the closet. Angel was this recent?”
Angel: “Erin, you cannot judge until you have seen the entire picture. God knows the beginnings from the end, and the end from the beginning. Now come!”
The Angel grabbed my hand. Instantly I was in a place 20 years before the time we were just at. I saw a little boy about 4 years old. Again it was winter. It was in Northern Russia or something like this. The little boy had been abandoned by his parents. He was sickly and the parents left him somehow. The parents were cold. The father was drunk and hurt the boy somehow. The boy was left in a small town. A man with evil intent took the boy into his house. The boy was severely abused but the man drew him back to health. The little boy became quite cold and angry. There were little girls from the village that seemed happy; it angered him. He hated women and grew to hate them. The boy’s thoughts at night were hate and sometimes tears and grief. The old man continued to abuse the boy as he became around 12. The boy finally took from the old man because the old man told him he would kill him while he slept. The old man was also abusing some other boys and giving their parents vodka and money in exchange for them. I saw unspeakable things that make me want to vomit. The 12 year old gathered up the other boys and they killed the old man so the parents reported the boys for murder. The 12 year old gathered up the boys and ran. I saw them together for years. They drank at a young age but were all dependent on the now older (12 year old). The group eventually joined the army, so they could be fed.
Me: “Lord, are these the soldiers? Is this what happened to them to make them do this?”
Angel: “Erin you are beginning to understand the roots of hate. You are not a judge for good reason.” I was grieved. I was so thankful that my life was easy. This was not that long ago. Instantly, I was taken to a death camp in Poland during the time of Nazi rule. I saw a train pulling into the station and Jewish citizens being formed into two long lines; young men and healthy older men in one, and the elderly, pregnant women, children, handicapped and women with babies in another. The healthy were imprisoned and used as workers and the other line extermination – immediate death. I can’t give the details. I can’t go there. It makes my heart sick. The mothers were singing a song to keep the children calm. I saw blossoming trees – it was spring.
The Angel showed me an inscription in the wall – these were scratched into it. I couldn’t understand the script, but the angel waived his arm and I could read in English: “I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining. I believe in love when I don’t feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent.” I began to cry. “Please take me to Jesus. Please, I have questions.” Instantly I was taken up to God’s Garden in Heaven. I was in the Pasture of God by the River of Life. My sick stomach was healed. I ran over to the River and jumped in. The jewels – stones and the bottom of the river bed sparkled. The sunlight was spectacular as the stones from the river bed created dancing diamonds of rainbows on the surface of the water. I wept.
Me: “Oh God, forgive my pouting, forgive my rants. Oh Lord there is none like You and I am forever grateful.”
I sat on the river bank. The grass was soft. I moved the palm of my hand over the blades of grass. They seemed to hum – they did hum. What is Heaven that even the grass worships and sings to God? How amazing! I lifted my hands and praised God for Heaven! I sang several hymns. My voice here was/is beautiful in Heaven. Remarkable, I felt safe and refreshed. All of my trouble was a distant memory. After some time, I spoke.
Me: “Lord, You have said “Be still and know that I AM God!” The first time You spoke to me in 1983 – this is what You said. I was barely 20 years old. Lord, this was 31 years ago. Now You have taken me here. I am forever Yours! Please forgive my foolishness.”
I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jesus. He sat down beside me on the bank of the river.
Jesus: “I’m glad you came, Erin.”
Me: “Lord it has been a difficult time but it is nothing compared to what the angel showed me. I am so sorry!”
Jesus: He reached over and held me. “It’s okay Erin. Do you understand what you were shown and why?”
Me: “Sort of, but not really.”
Jesus: “Before I answer you, think about what you were shown. What did you come away with?”
Me: I thought through all of what I had seen, for some time. The Lord downloaded everything into my memory. “I guess at first I was grieved, then I became angry, then I wanted to pronounce judgment – now I am empty – I have nothing Lord.”
Jesus: “Then allow me Erin. Who do you believe I am? Do you believe I am a loving Lord? Do you believe God is Just? Can you trust My love and God’s judgment?”
Me: “I don’t understand it. I try to wrap myself around it. I try to contain it, but I am not capable. I cannot see the end from the beginning nor can I see the beginning from the end. I only see my portion, my circle. I am not You Lord. Your grace abounds, mine is not like this.”
Jesus: “Tell me then how you felt?”
Me: “At first I wanted to save, then I wanted to kill even murder, then I was empty.”
Jesus: “So you wanted to play God, save and then judge without all of your knowledge?”
Me: (He was smiling and clearly He knew me.) “Lord, I am not qualified to save, only point to You My Savior. I am not qualified to judge. I am not God on the Throne. I don’t work in His courts. You just took me on a rollercoaster of emotions; terror, grief, anger, mourning. Now it is much better if I remain silent.”
Jesus: Laughing – “Oh, a first!” (I was laughing). “Erin is this new to God, any of this?”
Me: “No, of course not.”
Jesus: “Those who do not see the unseen cannot judge. There is a glass ceiling over the Earth. There is nothing new under the sun. The enemy lives but is soon to be removed. Erin your Savior lives and is never to be removed. God Reigns! Your God Reigns! Do not worry about tomorrow! I will lead you as in Psalm 23. God is within you, you will not fail. God will help you at the break of Day! I will send signs and help.” I was crying. “This is enough for today. I will have you go deeper into these stories to find a simple key. You have a friend that knows this. Now, when trouble comes where do you look?”
Me: “I look up! Right?” He was laughing.
Jesus: “Yes Erin. Please don’t worry. You are loved. Come to Me, those who are weary and I will give you rest.”
Me: “Lord I am weary.”
Jesus: “Rest in Me, Erin. The battle is God’s! Pray and Be Still.
He smiled and hugged me.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.
God’s Garden for Children – #113 May 25, 2014
Thank You for another day. Thank You for my children and their health. Thank You for my close family and friends whom You have sent to pray and encourage us. I feel peace and healing coming. Thank You also for keeping my son – middle son from this sickness. A friend reminded me that Your Grace is Sufficient. This has been repeating in my heart via the Holy Spirit – itched. Thank You for this wise counsel.
My dreams the last couple of nights have been about the oncoming deception. In one I saw a pot of boiling water over an open fire. I was reminded about a frog dropped in boiling water will jump out but one in a cool pot slowly bringing the water to a boil will not even realize it is being cooked. You have shown me that the coming deception is like this. We are currently in this giant pot of water. Many have no clue what is happening. Help Lord!
My other dream last night was this giant dome. Inside the dome people could go into these chambers and receive an anti-aging treatment. People flocked in mass to receive these treatments for eternal youth. These people gave everything they had to go into these chambers. It was the same as Nazi death camps; two lines, those who seemed weak in one and those who seemed strong in another. The difference in this dream everything was white; the walls, floors, equipment, lab coats, etc. People were separated according to their beliefs spiritually so they could play the proper music while they went into the chambers. One line claimed to believe in Jesus – although they seemed ashamed. This line also contained Jews. The other line contained a wide variety of beliefs but swore no alliance to Jesus. The line with wide gate religions went into the chambers and became young – they were a fake version of glorified body. Their bodies were still dying but they looked youthful. I saw demons all around these individuals. The only requirement for the new youthful look was to appear and testify for others to come. The other line – well let’s just say – their allegiance to Jesus made them lose their head. It looked so real, all of it. My glorified state can easily stand next to the fake but if I didn’t know about Heaven or Jesus… Well, I wouldn’t know what to look for. I pray we are far removed before this happens. With time passing so quickly this looked like close to real time. Is this structure being built now? It is a football stadium in the US or somewhere else?
Lord, I pray this day, if there is anything more I can do please make my road a bit easier to walk. Please keep us healthy, protected and far removed from the coming chaos or for that matter the current chaos – so I can be free to hear from You more clearly and spread the good news. Lord, please bless my friends abundantly with the supernatural open Heavens over them, Grant all of them Supernatural Gifts straight from the Throne. May these be used as witnessing tools before the coming deception! Lord, I am requesting to activate and equip Your Saints with the supernatural ability to witness and stand for You just on appearances alone. Lord You told me I could ask for up to one-half Your Kingdom – Well, now I am calling in Your request. We cannot save but we can testify and direct those to the Fountain of Youth – The River of Life in Heaven! Please Lord answer my request, petition and prayer this very day! In Jesus name!
Erin Come Up!
Today I was on a beautiful overlook. It appeared I was viewing another valley. In the distance I could see the City of Gold (God). I was in a Northern valley. I could see stripes upon stripes of color bands on the valley floor. I could see acres and acres of tulips. It took my breath away. Off to the left I could see something that looked like a massive Japanese Garden, but there were huge trees. I wanted to go there and explore, immediately with the desire of my heart I was there. How did this happen? Wow! I stood in this garden; it was not specific to Japanese culture but, similar. The floor of the garden was soft green velvet moss. There were chiseled stones of pearl to walk on. There around me were giant trees like the Earthly version of a weeping willow but these were flowers of every kind of color. The garden trees looked like they were fountains pouring flowers. The pearl stones went to this blossoming massive tree. There was a bench that circled the entire base of the tree. The bench could easily seat 12 people. I must have been grinning from ear to ear! My heart was racing at the beautiful site. To my right was something like a path through a tunnel of flowering vines. It opened up to a small lake. To my left was a miniature village, or replica of a village. It was all little white, stones, brick, and wooden buildings.
The tiny village had a little street of gold, small street lights and groomed landscape. There were details that literally took my breath away. I peeked inside the little buildings and saw furniture. There were beds, bedding, paintings, etc. I smiled and laughed. This was not Japanese in style but truly amazing. As a child I remembered seeing something like this at the Smithsonian Institute. As I walked further, I saw other little villages. I was laughing. The flowers here I could tell were forever blossoming. This was not a winter place at all. I took my sandals off to put my feet into the soft velvet moss. I heard giggling.
I turned and looked around and saw nothing. I was wearing a beautiful white gown of linen. I had beautiful long blonde hair. No braids! I loved this Heavenly state – Oh if I could feel just 20 percent as on Earth like I do here in Heaven, I would be so encouraged. I decided to make my way to the left along the pearl stepping stones. The breeze was slight so everything seemed to be alive – well it was alive. The fragrance was so light and airy. It was perfect not intoxicating, it was perfectly Heavenly. The scent triggered a distant memory from my past, but I wasn’t certain what that was anymore – this was far too interesting! I saw movement up ahead in one of the little villages. I saw baby chicks with feathers – fuzz dyed several different colors. The little chicks sang. I don’t know the species but they were so cute. I saw little baby bunnies and kittens. I saw puppies and other baby animals… Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I stepped on these pearl stones. It was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. It was far greater than anything I ever imagined.
I remembered as a child when my parents were fighting – violent fights with things breaking. I would lie in bed and imagine what it would be like to be in another place – like Heaven! This is it! As I walked I saw small pools light blue and shallow – perfect for wading and splashing. I saw beautiful butterflies with shimmering colors. I saw dragon flies that made music with their wings.
Me: “Lord, where am I in Heaven? Whose place is this? This is designed by a Master Gardener. It is maintained by gardeners so skilled that – well I can’t even describe all of it!”
As I walked I could see acres and acres of this garden. I saw hedges shaped like animals. I saw an area with something like kites and hot air balloons. I saw something like fields of Lego structures – but completely state of the art with moving parts and incredible colors. I saw spinning objects suspended in midair by blow holes in the ground. I saw fountains of water squirting out of the ground and creating archways of light, similar to some fountains in my Heaven home. I ran up to another overlook with my sandals in my hand. I ran up this path with amazing speed. When I reached the top I turned to look out. I realized the entire valley – miles and miles and miles were all like this. Over my shoulder and beyond I saw God’s Mansion. I was North East – I was in God’s Garden. Wow!!!
Me: “Lord, where are You? Please join me. I miss You!”
I sat down on his overlook with my legs dangling over this ledge. I faced this beautiful valley – a perfect place for children. It was so much better than any place I have ever seen designed for children. There were so many cultures, but completely perfected so any child would love to explore; gardens, rocks, ponds, waterfalls, wading pools, baby animals – these are only the things that I can describe based on an earthly relationship to something here. There is more, much more. This place is so amazing, delightful and massive a child could be here from birth to age 18 and never see it all!
I saw mysterious things too – again I am only describing things we can understand, or should say things I can draw a picture of. What I saw was beyond words. I saw rainbows that actually had a starting point and an ending point. They even held treasures untold at the end. One area had trees illuminated with sparkling lights of every color, fireflies and glow worms – but not gross – beautiful and delightful. Suddenly I wanted to be a child. I missed delights. I grew-up very quickly. I began to miss what I didn’t have. I had always hoped for better. As a little girl – I wanted safety first, happiness, love, joy, laughter, peace. I wanted fun and friends – I wanted parents who loved each other – most of all I wanted Jesus, but I didn’t know this then. I didn’t know Him.
Tears began to fall – of course – this is all I do these days – Here in Heaven the beauty… Even a manly man on Earth would weep – You just can’t help but be amazed at the beauty here! You can’t believe how quickly humility set in! Seriously, trees always blossoming – and baby animals that remain babies – amazing! Not all animals stay babies – perhaps it is the child-like desires of our hearts that will it to be here. Baby animals grow so quickly – innocence leaves so quickly.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jesus. He was laughing as He sat down next to me on the overlook.
Jesus: “Are you enjoying this Erin?” I reached over to hug Him!
Me: “Lord is there nothing You won’t do to display Your immense love for us? This is so incredible!”
Jesus: “I knew it was time to bring you back here. Remember those rainbows I gave you right before I took you on that dark journey! Do you understand more now?”
Me: “I had forgotten all the trouble Lord, when I saw this. I cannot begin to understand Your ways. I cannot judge nor will I so quickly again. Please forgive me in advance though, as I am most certain I will be angry and have a human desire to see justice.”
Jesus: “Hmmm, Yes a good reason to be human and not God! Your ways focus on what you can see before you only. You relate your own experiences to formulate or inflict judgment. Not always with good results.”
Me: “Yes, I am not to judge – although You have not removed all of my obstacles – this requires Your Divine Judgment. Mine would not be Godly.”
Jesus: He was laughing, “Erin then once and for all let them go and let God! It’s simple.”
Me: “Simply impossible!” He was laughing…
Jesus: “Okay, so do you have an idea of what you were shown?”
Me: “Well something occurred to me. All of these people made mistakes which cost lives. These were accidents though. Some paid with lives lost. Some were at the wrong place at the wrong time. These adults carried heavy burdens, yokes of guilt! Then the last 3 scenarios seem unrelated, but patterns made me angry, then finally it ended as the Holocaust left me empty and speechless. I went from injustice, sympathy and grief to rage, anger, and certainly wanting justice. It still confuses me. Why did You take all of us there? I didn’t even give the complete details of what I had seen. The visuals are in my head – Please remove them. (He turned and showed me such love!)
Jesus: “Erin, I understand more than you can know. You have seen only a small fragment of atrocities which happen every day. Now, I have been here since the beginning. I have seen all. God sees all. “Things hidden” is a term for man. There is nothing hidden from God, angels, or even the enemy at times – Heaven is above the Earth. Earth is visible. You have seen it. No man can see from the lap of God. No man has seen God. Even you, Erin, have not seen the face of God – only the Throne. Do not listen to anyone who claims to have seen God. Remember how God appears to man over the course of History – this is a gauge to witness against deception. Now – understand then what forces are at work, forces which you cannot see. Man holds yokes and burdens also for things done by the unseen enemy. Remember what occurs in God’s Courts. Remember Job. There are other things also. Remember that anyone who claims to be the most humble is clearly not. This, too, is a gauge – obvious and in plain sight. Now, you have some yokes you are still carrying, like the soldiers who were falsely accused and those parents who made difficult choices. It’s time to let go of this final burden.”
Me: “You are right, Lord. I have forgiven the enemy involved, but I have not forgiven myself for being so stupid … dim-sighted. I caused my children to be inflicted. They were innocent. I couldn’t be with them all of the time. If only I had heeded Your warnings before they were born, I could’ve made different choices. When I see their disabilities – every time, I blame myself. I can’t forgive myself, Lord. Help me!”
Jesus: “Finally, you have come clean.”
Me: “Lord, I wasn’t trying to hide anything. Just heal my boys, Lord, please! Heal me, Lord! Free us before you take us Home! My daughter is very much like a child – she is. I have kept her in joy. My boys have a memory. It’s been a struggle.”
Jesus: “Erin, you have nailed yourself on the cross. Do you believe God doesn’t know? Do you believe you can work out a better outcome by remaining in your state of judgment against yourself? God has seen all things, Erin. Let Him Judge! Let Me Save You!”
Me: “Lord, was I unsaved?”
Jesus: Laughing … “Of course you are saved – this is silly now. I won’t have this talk coming from you. Let your words be few now – let Me speak tenderly to you. Do you think I have not seen your beginnings? Do you think I have not seen your mistakes? Do you think I cannot also see what happens in the unseen realm? There is so much more. I have compassion because I can see the entire story, Erin. You are loved. You saw only the tragedy in the lives of all of those people – you didn’t see the outcome. You didn’t see the soldiers – the bad ones dropped to their knees and sobbed like babies when an Angel of God appeared. Can I tell you that there is no greater sorrow than when a man who believes he is beyond redemption sees God? There is no measure for the guilt that those men suddenly carried. They were clearly guilty of their crimes, and they could not hide. Erin, the outcome in this instance will surprise you. You would not believe it. Now, the whole world has carried the guilt of the Holocaust. There were millions of angels sent. Do you know that the line of the weakest – do you know that almost all of them reside here? Not all, as many still would not accept their Savior! Do you know that very few from the other line could accept Me? There is more – much more. Just know that I was sent to be the Savior. There is, was, and has been a need from the Fall. It was foretold, but it was not I whom they were expecting, but a King.”
Me: “Lord, You are a King!”
Jesus: He was laughing and nudged me! “Yes, if only I had ridden into Jerusalem originally on a white horse – the donkey was unexpected!” He laughed.
Me: “Well, soon You will be coming on that horse!”
Jesus: “Yes, but at first I will not be recognized – until every knee bows.”
Me: “Oh, Lord, they missed out on You. I almost missed out on You. Lord, You are so wise and Your ways so much greater. My humanness cannot contain Your vast grace – Your amazing works!”
Jesus: “Perhaps this is not your place to. How about you stop trying to figure Me out and just remain who you are? You delight Me!” He nudged me again.
Me: “Lord, You delight me. You are wonderful. You love me despite me. Here I wanted to murder those bad soldiers, and You have another plan. Who knows what You are up to, but it is Divinely Perfect. Please forgive me for my judgments, like I have knowledge. I can’t wait until You restrain the restrainer!”
Jesus: “Oh, Erin, make no mistake – he is restrained. You know this – you recently spoke to someone close about this. The enemy on Earth is under God’s restrictions, and as hard as he tries, he cannot disobey God. The Fallen have been restrained underground as an example to the enemy. Now, the lake of fire is a place. When the enemy is cast down there, he will no longer be restricted – he is free to do his will there. This will be a place of unspeakable horrors, unimaginable – Earthly atrocities are only a small fraction. He is allowed – granted – some small atrocities here, so people want a Savior … Heaven or God! Not the place of the enemy. The enemy wants to have hard hearts.”
Me: “Lord, I get it – he is free to terrorize in his own domain, but on Earth, he is not free to do this.”
Jesus: “Make no mistake, Erin, either way he is not free. Now let’s give him no more time here. Let’s look at something special.” He turned my attention to this beautiful Child Paradise.
Me: “Lord, I want to spend time here, too. It’s wonderful!”
Jesus: “You will come here too, Erin. Why did I show you this?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Jesus: “Those children who have died play here. The parents get to see their children play here and grow up here. Then they will be like others, too.”
Me: “You mean they will have a chance to have a normal childhood and grow? Then they will be like a 25-year-old for Eternity?”
Jesus: Laughing … “Yes, something like this. Did you think there are children who never grow up here? Erin, you get younger – can’t they grow older?”
Me: I was laughing! “Oh, Lord, this is Awesome! My kids were worried that they would miss out on being teenagers and growing. They thought they would instantly be around 25!”
Jesus: “Hmmm. Doesn’t sound like Heaven. What – and miss out on being a teenager? Does God make mistaken years?”
Me: Laughing … “As You know, my teenage years were difficult and not very fun.”
Jesus: “Hmmm. You didn’t have Me or a perfected body and a renewed mind. It will be a blast for them, Erin!”
Me: “So You have special things planned for them, too?”
Jesus: “No lack, Erin! It’s perfected fun. Not sinful. You are doubting because you are thinking Heaven should be more serious.”
Me: “Oh – no, Lord. I’m excited because we were taught there is no fun here – only boredom — sorry, Lord!”
Jesus: He was laughing. “I am so glad those people have a special place here. They need some reprogramming on the Heart of God. God delights in laughter – the laughter of children. Erin, I laugh, but this is not a spiritual gift – this is a reaction birthed from Joy and Love!”
Me: “Holy laughter – some churches have this.”
Jesus: “Well, they have taken this to the extreme – with help from others not appointed. Pray. People are in search of Me and more of Me. They, too, can find Me. It is the heart! Blessed are those who ask for a Heart of Gold.”
Me: I began to cry. “Lord, I had no idea what I was asking for. I know for sure I do not have it completely here on Earth, but I can be certain that when we all dwell here with You, we will be perfected and in Your full glory. I wouldn’t trade a thing, if it meant I would miss one second of You.”
Jesus: “Then, Erin, there are no accidents along the road to find Me. I was there holding your hand the entire time. Angels were there to remind the enemy of his restrictions. When you prayed, God received your prayers! You are Loved! Now, there is more!”
He hugged me and kissed the top of my head…