First, let me apologize for the delay in posting but I just have had no free time – to put it bluntly…I’M POOPED! The other day, I sat down and did a quick video message but did not post it until today so excuse me for being a few days off when you see it. It’s been an exhausting week, not only physically, but mentally. Now, having said this, it’s no different than any of your days/adventures/attacks, etc. We all go through major ordeals and in no way am I saying that this is “so much worse” than anyone else”s! I’m not going to be a “Scarlet O’Hara” and think everything that happens is “all-about-me” either as I know I am not the “exception”, but the rule! These trials, these tests may be worse for me this week, while many of you have had lesser trials, but next week, or the week after that, maybe even next month, many of you could or will experience worse – I’m just sharing mine.
I know that I speak so much about my daughter and my new granddaughter she is carrying, with her birth date quickly approaching on June 1st, but I am all she has. You all have been so wonderful as I give you no choice but to endure my many stories, tears, triumphs and concerns regarding both children, my son Taylor and Tara. I’m aware too that I do not mention the father of the baby and why he is not in the picture. Well, in the video below that I am posting only here on the Blog, I tell you just why that is and the situation surrounding the important role I assumed and am happy to take on for her during this time. This was personal and hard to share, but, I went there and after watching the video and hearing what I have said, you will then understand the “shower” ordeal much, much better, hopefully!
Now, my son Taylor, well, that’s another matter all-to-together and he is sitting in a St. Louis County Jail as of today, April 20, 2014. I need your prayers – I need all of you to pray ahead and ask the Lord to send His Holy Spirit out and pour over, covering those hearts that will be the decision makers regarding Taylor’s future life and punishment. Pray that mercy is granted upon Taylor and that his punishment fits the crime and not an “example” made as so many judges love to do. Problem is, he has told so many fibs, tales and stories in the past, no one wants to believe him now…too many times did he cry wolf. Yet, I’m still his mother and I do not want him sentenced for being immature, hurt or due to the enemies constant darts he and his demonic forces throw Taylor’s way. We could have bailed him out, but we decided to make him face the court as now he has them going in 2 states – yet the confused child in him thinks it’a all one big misunderstanding. What do you do with a person like that? Well, I decided a long time ago to give him to the Lord Jesus Christ because there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I can do for him but Jesus can. Now, I must do just what I ask all of you to do – walk in the Complete Divine Faith and Belief in the Lord without fear and without falter. I must (and I am) “whistling while I work” even when I want to bring out “Warrior Mommy” to pull every single string, favor and promise from all the people I know who can and may possibly step in to secure my request.
What I cannot do is walk ahead of the Lord and take things into my own hands. Really…what kind of power and strength can these old hands hold, not an once I will tell you! I cannot step out of my “Concrete Footing” of the Lord – the one that I stand in each day…that same one that keeps me from falling flat on my face each day because of it’s sure footing, it’s sure grip upon my feet that holds me steady, straight and standing. When I stay/stand in this firm, unbreakable foundation, I am aware of my “Good Gifts” from the Lord, a “done deal” so-to-speak for my love and faithfulness and also the promises of His Word to me. When I walk with that pure peace upon my heart and spirit, how pleasing is that to the Lord that I praise and worship His Majesty and stand in “AWE” of his Great Glory, Mercy and Unconditional Kindness and Love during the lowest of times? I know that this is a time in my son’s life where he must do this by the book, on his own and face the music he thought he would never have to hear, again! I can hear the fear in his voice, the tears choking off his words and I know that he is scared beyond belief because it was just last week and last weekend that he was truly realizing just what it was in this life he had to do in order to be what he has been called to be and to do. The light bulb finally went on and stayed on but was it too late? Was this the time that the change was going to “take”, was it really here for good? He was studying his Hebrew books, DVD’s and CD’s trying to speak and read God’s Word in the Jewish form and was attending bible studies with his new boss who is too a believer, a devote Christian but believes in all the things we speak about here, and then Taylor was so excited about speaking at City Hall on Monday, April 21, 2014 regarding Obama Care and the RFID Chip that will soon be placed in all those who have signed up to receive this country’s new heath care. He was celebrating a “true Passover” as he described it and was eating only Kosher food items. When I talked to him on Thursday morning, he said, “Mom, I’m so hungry, I’m starving!” I asked him why he was hungry – asked if they were not feeding him, etc. and what came out of his mouth was so unexpected, I thought I was going to fall right off the chair, again! He said, “Yes Mom, they gave me food but I’m in Passover and I’m eating clean. I asked the guard if they had a “Kosher” meal that I could eat because it was Passover and I did not want to eat anything that wasn’t!” Really guys…what do you do with that? How does that NOT bring a smile to your face? I just cracked up and I have no doubt in my mind that Taylor was DEAD SERIOUS in his request because he truly wanted to please the Lord. It was his “cleansing” time as he had met some wonderful Christians (his new boss being one) and was studying each day the true Hebrew Passover and Feasts. Was this time truly the “game changer” or was it, just another failed attempt? Why is it that only when we are truly scared and “in-the-wilderness” do we see how great the Promise is? Why does it take famine over feast to make us see the error of our ways? To add salt further to the wound…he has not one person that believes a word he says now, even when he is telling the absolute truth. There is not one person, family or friend, who will stop on a dime and run to his rescue because of Taylor’s past “wolf cries” that all of us have believed in full-force right up until last fall/early winter. He is desperately looking for any ear that will hear and any heart that will open because he, in his “Taylor” mind, was/still is, changing his life and all this that was done in the past, when he just “lost” his way, should be forgotten and not counted against him because he is a different person. Again, what do you do with that? It’s more like a child looking for anyone to come into their nursery, arms up and reaching out over or through the crib bars, ready to secure themselves against anyone who offers to pick them up or pick up their fallen pacifier or bottle!
Perfect example of his thinking: He drove to California and while there, didn’t veer over to the toll booth line and just stayed his speed on the highway where the “Speed Pass” cars drive – thinking, I guess, he could just drive through all of them without paying or thinking he didn’t have to pay if he did not have the money. Only for me, 2 months later, I receive tickets from that state for the “drive-through” violations. He still doesn’t understand what he did wrong there! How can this boy, or young man, be so genius-type smart, yet have not one ounce of “street-smart” common sense? How does someone get 27 tickets since January 2014 for the same thing (expired plate sticker and no current insurance card on hand) and continue without the knowledge of the “what and why” of what he did and continued to do to achieve this unbelievable number of violations? This is what I battle each day or at least 5 out of 7 days a week. There is something, a switch of sorts, that just does not click or spark in his brain, I know this because it’s been since he was 2 years old, but now, we have all decided if he is ever going to have a life, a good, productive adult life, then this is what we must do – but it still doesn’t mean my heart is not broken. Taylor can go to prison for 1 to 8 years or he could get less but as a mother, it’s a knife in the heart as far as the pain level, is it not? So, who is the one that has such power to make all the “right” things happen and all the “wrong” things go away, well, surely not me that is for sure because if I had that power, wouldn’t all this already been gone, never happening in the first place and never allowed to come back again? Yep, but since I don’t and it still continues to boil, I know only ONE who has True Power and that is the Lord Himself so that is whose Almighty Hands I put my son’s life in, His! My role as Taylor’s mother is to stay strong in my faith and leave it all and I do mean all, in the Lord’s Hands and allow His Mercy and Will to reign upon my son and all who pray for him. I must pray ahead that the Lord soften the hearts of man so that the enemy is not credited with a victory but cut down in motion and all the Glory, Praise and Love given to Jesus and our Father on the Throne. Turning around what was meant for harm to be in the end, a major moment of GLORY AND VICTORY for God, is what our Lord is an expert at so why would I not sit back in His firm footing and let Him work? Well? Exactly – so that my friends, is what I am doing and will continue to do and I intend to not only whistle, but I will sing all-the-while until this entire ordeal is over and the Lord’s Will is done! He knows who Taylor battles and Jesus also knows why so He will place him just where he is needed, where He needs him to be and or where he needs to be in order to learn so Taylor can fulfill his own role in these end times, for he has a special calling from God and Taylor too knows what is coming, how the events will unfold and has seen in detail the destruction, wrath and evil that walks this way and is soon to start.
All I know, Jesus has him but prayers are always the bright white lights that beam up to the Throne Room of Heaven giving power to the words in those prayers being received at the Foot of God’s Throne and I ask for mercy upon his soul and heart when placed in front of the decision maker’s in this world but ultimately, it’s The Father’s Decision and Will that will be placed as nothing can happen unless God Himself allows it so give Him Praise, Worship, Thanks and Love!
Just a note too – the baby shower was adorable and we were a hit! I will post about it tomorrow! Thank you friends and again, I’m sorry if I have not replied back to prayer requests/questions/emails – it’s been a “my plate is not only full, it’s spilling over onto the floor” kind of week! Tomorrow I will try to respond and reply.
Happy Resurrection Day to all my dear brothers and sisters and may today and every day this week or the next, be the one day He is called to retrieve His Bride Home and may that day be upon us now. I truly cannot wait to meet you all as I know we are and will be the very best of friends!