PLEASE – WON’T YOU STAND WITH ME AND HELP ME FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD AND MINE?
Today I saw something or experienced an event that I never ever thought I would see…at least not at the level I did today. Today, I was literally held captive by the enemy.
As I sat in my daughter’s brand new sitting chair, all I could do was stay in that upright sitting chair position, sometimes crossing my legs, shedding a few tears about every 60 minutes or so and staring straight into that face I had seen so many many times. I almost bet the farm that I would never set eyes on it again and believed that with my whole heart. Well, good thing I’m not a betting woman anymore because I surely would have lost. That face that I couldn’t take my eyes from, eyes full of hatred, resentment and overall evil, where those of my son. Today, I saw exactly what principalities I am fighting. I was held hostage in that chair, in this living room for most of the day and he knew exactly what he was doing – yet had no idea.
There were times today that I thought I had a glimpse of my son; a few moments I thought I could “get-to-him” and kept thinking that if he would just hear me, his mother who loves him so much, he would be able to somehow see me and stop, but as time progressed and the clocked ticked on, I knew that was no longer an option or if it was ever a realistic possibility at any point today.
I’m now sitting on this couch, the new couch my daughter also just purchased reflecting on the attempts or temptations thrown directly at me today and the continuing flow of curse words promising to tear it apart along with the destruction of every thing else in her home. My head is still pounding and the flood of tears I was finally able to let flow after that ordeal was over, has come and gone…now, I know exactly what I’m up against and what I must do.
Please pray for me tonight that in the morning, the Lord leads me to make the right decision, not one made in haste or on the rebound of the hours of foul, sadistic words I was called today or the paralyzing fear the devil tried to make me not only feel, but show – but the loving, best-overall for my son decision. Change and steps to that change must be taken and made now…something, one-way-or-another, has to be done and time in this matter is not my friend.
Thank you dear friends…you have no idea how much your support means to me. I prayed and used my “tools” the entire time and I know had I not stood in that concrete footing of our Precious Lord Jesus, my world as I know it, surely would be much different tonight…thank you Jesus, thank you!